Three pieces of twine are stretched across the wall over my computer screen. On them hang Blue, Red and Yellow ribbons. I have been horseback riding for years, and even hoped to one day get really really good.
BUT at the ripe of age of 50 plus I have come to the realization that it will never be. Worse than that my confidence has all but forsaken me and a riding trip I was planning on taking this spring is being canceled because I just can't do it.
Sad - Yes. Depressed - You bet, but I must accept that this is happening to me.
I have been hesitant to take down the ribbons, because in doing so I was admitting to failure. My time will have come and gone and I would never have reached the levels I dreamed about.
But that is life, sucky as it is and I will sadly place my small collection of ribbons into a box.
Luckily as my riding ability slid into the abyss I have joys I will reach toward and try and perfect. I write. It is something that gives me tremendous satisfaction. I photograph which is as much a part of me as anything and I am a grandmother - something that trumps everything else.
A very wise person once told me something: "When one door closes, another opens."
I'm anxious to see what's behind the next door.
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